Churchofchristsingles
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Our story, as told by Rick, with comments by Jenese in italics.
First Contact
It was a 'just in time' encounter. Still single at age 39, I was spending my days sitting on the floor of my living room in my underwear, black trash bags taped over the windows, cleaning my rifle. The time was fast approaching to implement life plan C, which would require stocking my pantry with vodka, cigarettes, and Dexatrim for my mail-order Russian bride. But just as I was about to enter my credit card number into Anastasiaweb.com, I decided to first check out a churches of Christ dating site I had seen advertised in the Christian Chronicle.
Dating in central-southwest Oklahoma was looking pretty grim.There was an absolute dearth of candidates who were both desirable and eligible (i.e., single, Christian, freshly washed), as well as interested, and I had begun to develop a twitch response to the words, “Hey, there’s this really nice guy you should meet.”After some prayer, thought, and discussion with my massage therapist, I decided to take the advice of some of the brethren and try churchofchristsingles.com.I never thought I would take such a step, the meet-a-thumb-sucking-axe-murderer risk being rather high in such ventures, but people I actually knew had successfully discovered spouses through that site. So it seemed worth the risk.
It’s the only dating site I’ve seen that allows you to search based on a subcategory for congregational type -– i.e., one-cup, no kitchen, no class, etc. –- like searching based on hair color. It’s also the only dating site I’ve seen that contains a field for women to input their specific weight. Considering the number of churches of Christ in Oklahoma, the pool of Oklahoma profiles on the site, after eliminating those women who wouldn't dare include a photo or their weight, was surprisingly small. Among the only two pages of listings my search turned up, there was little that drew my attention, but there was one profile to which I kept returning. A girl with long, sandy-blond hair and a comfortable smile was looking down at me from tree, in one photo, and looking up at me while lying in a field of blue wildflowers in another. It could have been an ad for the Sierra Club, or more likely, for a new prescription allergy medication. It was Jenese.
A comfortable smile?What am I, Ma Ingalls serving up cornbread on the prairie?I wanted to climb trees and play in the wildflowers with Jenese, and so would have emailed her right away, but her profile indicated that she lived in Norman. (I would later learn, of course, that Jenese actually lived in Chickasha and listed Norman as some sort of stalking defense. She also listed her age as 32, which I have yet been able to verify, despite repeated inquiries.) Even though I knew where Norman was, I typed it into Mapquest just to see what the exact driving time would be: 2 hours, 48 minutes. Let me see . . . at 30 miles per gallon . . . gasoline at $2.40 per gallon . . . plus tolls . . . No, it failed my cost-benefit analysis.
Typical of the tightwad.As far as my location, the site asks you to list the closest large city, which I felt was most helpful in keeping those potential axe-murderers at a safe distance.As far as my age, buddy, I've shown you my passport, and unless you want to talk to my dentist, there’s not much else I can do for you.
However, my repeated viewing of Jenese’s profile did not go unnoticed. It permitted Jenese to view my own profile, even though I kept it hidden. Her cost-benefit analysis must have differed from mine, because she emailed me. It was a pleasant surprise. 'Hey! That’s the girl I know in the tree!' It was an easy decision to reply. I might even buy a Pikepass, someday, I thought.
I was dog-sitting for some of the brethren, who graciously allowed me to use their computer and internet connection.While conducting my routine search of the “Viewed My Profile” list, I found a photo of a guy in a ski lift, smiling a bit too self-assuredly and looking a bit too much like an ex-boyfriend.Oh well, I thought, let’s be fair and read his profile.Intelligence.Faith in God.Active service.Wit (not to say, snark).Similar interests.And he lived in Oklahoma.Up to that time, I hadn’t found myself drawn to any of the men in Oklahoma.After overcoming a bit of shy hesitation, I took a deep breath and did something I’d never done before – emailed a perfect stranger.I spent the rest of the evening wondering at my own boldness, and wondering if or when Rick would reply.
The on-site exchange of emails soon transitioned to direct emailing. I was even permitted to learn Jenese’s true location, which sent me back to Mapquest. We continued a daily exchange of email, which consisted of a series of questions and answers focused on basic information. I thought it was an efficient progression that was the standard operandi for dating by computer, but I learned later that Jenese found it to be tedious and frustrating. I suppose I wasn’t delivering the Shelley inspired sonnets for which she was hoping. I think she was relieved when I finally moved to voice mode.
Each email would consist of answers to the previous day’s message, and one or two new questions.This went on for weeks.We might have been learning about each other, but it was hardly conversational. And yet, I looked forward to checking my inbox. Then he started dropping the names of places he’d seen. I couldn’t resist asking about his travels.I haven’t done much of it myself, and find it fascinating to hear about other people’s adventures.Rick sent me a link to his “Travelogues.”After weeks of sorting through tidbits, here was a wealth of personal information, suddenly poured right into my lap, mingled with descriptions of people and places I’d only heard about.He had a heart for God, an eye for natural and artistic beauty, a keen wit and sense of observation, and compassion for the suffering and struggles of others.I couldn’t wait any longer – I had to talk to this guy.So I asked Rick if he would like to try talking on the phone.
When I called her on her cell phone, she was at the grocery store with a friend (who is now Jenese's maid of honor), shopping for ingredients to make pad thai. 'Should I call you back later?', I asked. 'No, this is fine.' This was my first encounter with Jenese’s multi-tasking skills that still baffle me. I required a half-hour of single-minded focus and preparation just to make that call, but she had no difficulty in carrying on our first conversation while she carried me from aisle to aisle. The conversation continued through the checkout lane, the drive home, and putting the groceries away. I hung up, feeling somewhat slighted in favor of the pad thai, but I definitely wanted to hear more of Jenese’s voice.
Don’t be fooled.Keeping busy in the store helped control my excitement so I didn’t jump up and down and squeal like a fourteen-year-old at a New Kids on the Block concert (well, that’s who was popular when I was fourteen).But the Rick on the phone was very much like the Rick in our initial communications -- terse, matter-of-fact.Less than loquacious, you might say, and not like the Rick in the travelogues.I hung up, wondering. I decided they had to be the same Rick – one was the surface, and the other, the substance.It was time to meet him, to see for myself how these different facets joined together in the one person.
There would be several more evening phone conversations –- and multi-tasking –- before we agreed that we should meet for our first date. I still had not turned 40 and was still withholding my credit card number from Anastasia, so it was 'just in time'. Thanks to science, silicone, and Al Gore, an internet romance had begun.And I thank God for it, every day.
Turn the internet wheel just right and watch the romance begin.
First Date
We agreed to meet in the vacation paradise of Ponca City. I felt guilty about making Jenese drive so much farther than I would be driving, but meeting equidistantly would have meant a McDonald’s on the Turner Turnpike. Ponca City at least has the Marlin Mansion, which is a step up from a Big Mac and a dive into a Playland plastic ball pit.
Well, I'd never been to Ponca City before, so why not? And it was better than the ball pit, although those are usually air-conditioned . . .
I left early enough to stop at Kaw Lake to fish and check out a hiking trail. I hoped Jenese would not mind that I smelled like Deet, sunscreen, and sweat. I made it to Ponca City on time, meeting Jenese at Standing Bear Park. (Jenese was already there, which I think is a first for me as far as first dates go.) She was wearing a loose-fitting burgundy top which, together with her long kinky hair and minimalist makeup, gave her a flower child appearance. I might have even glanced at her feet to make sure she wasn’t wearing Birkenstocks.
I wasn't. But I was concerned about smelling like barbecue, after making a pit stop at a convenience store with a smoker going full blast. Guess I needn't have worried. My initial thoughts were, Wow. It's really him. He's really thin. And he's wearing ... a T-shirt and shorts?!?
I thought she looked nice, but after several minutes of awkward silence while looking at Indian headdresses and old maps of the Indian Nation inside the Standing Bear Museum and Education Center, Jenese abruptly announced she was returning to her car to retrieve a change of clothes. It seems that she had concluded we were mismatched the instant she saw that I was wearing shorts and could bear it no longer. I would later be criticized for not making it more clear that the date called for casual attire, but for the record, I had advised via email (verified by my Gmail archive) to: 'Dress cool. It’s going to be a hot day.' In my mind, 'dress cool' for an all-day outing in Ponca City in August means shorts.
That topwascool. If you mean shorts, say shorts. Besides, it was a first date, and I wanted to make a good first impression. But apparently I shouldn't have been too worried about that, either. I guess I could've just rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, and hit the road. That would have given me another hour of sleep, anyway.
Reunited after Jenese’s wardrobe change, we made a pass through the art wing of the museum where we looked at mediocre paintings of Indians looking despondent in various weather conditions. It was a nice facility, but I wanted to get out of there before the dullness of the place started rubbing off onto me in Jenese’s eyes.
I was less interested in the artwork than I was in my companion's bright eyes. They were clear, and shining, and seemed happy to see me. It was enough to have made even an exhibit on lawn clippings just a bit more interesting. But his gaze was so keen, that I couldn't maintain eye contact very long.
We walked a paved trail that looped through the park and around a pond. Along the way, I photographed Jenese at the foot of a massive statue of Standing Bear. There were signs here and there containing educational facts about Indians in Oklahoma. There was no shade at any point along the trail, so by the end of our pass through this blast furnace, I think we were the true redskins.
I'm just thankful I stashed a ponytail holder in my purse that morning.
Standing Bear and Jenese
Taking my car, we left Standing Bear Park and hit some of the other attractions in Ponca City. First up was the Marland Grand Home, the first Pona City home of Ernest Marland, tenth governor of Oklahoma and founder of what would become Conoco Inc.
It was fun, prowling through that beautiful old house. But I was still nervous -- he was so quiet. I was glad to have so much to look at, because the exhibits opened up opportunities for conversation.
For our first meal together, we went to a quaint little sandwich shop. If I remember correctly, it was called . . . Arby’s.
Yes, it was. And it was downright hard to chew with you staring at me.
After lunch, we visited the Soldani Mansion, which serves as the Ponca City Art Center. There were two temporary exhibits on the first floor. One was a collection of very nice floral oil paintings by a regional artist. The other was the stuff of nightmares. Termed 'found art', it consisted of several hats, including a Sonic baseball cap, to which the 'artist' had glued various objects he found during his daily walks. These objects included a surprising amount of frayed bits of yarn and thread, leading me to conclude that the 'artist' lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of outdoor macrame enthusiasts -- perhaps a home for the mentally disturbed. The decorative elements also included bottle caps and other assorted bits of trash, but most disturbing were the appendages of road kill, including pigeon wings, squirrel arms, armadillo claws, and at least one cat’s paw. One hat sported an entire frog.
And then Rick actually bent over one of these monstrosities and took a whiff. I can only surmise that it was some sort of guy thing -- perhaps the olfactory equivalent of seeing how long one can hold one's hand in an open flame.
Critter Hat
Staring at these ghastly critter hats was a special bonding moment for Jenese and I – like two strangers cast away on an island who discover that there’s a monster lurking in the forest and that confederation against this evil offers the only safety. But I felt sorry for the other artist who must have been pleased to be invited by the Art Center to have her paintings exhibited, only to discover that they were to be intermixed with the haberdashery of horrors.
Did everyone catch the 'Lost' reference?
Next, we went to the Marland Mansion, E. W. Marland’s second Ponca City home, built on the edge of town. I had been there once before and was sure Jenese would enjoy it. We timed it so that we could join one of the daily tours. Our guide, who had a talent for pointing out the obvious, was more frazzled than usual because of the large size of our group. It continued to swell as the tour progressed until we had at least thirty people trying to crowd into each bathroom we were shown. I think she ended the tour early, because I saw other tour guides escorting their groups through outbuildings we never got to see. These buildings are kept locked, so you must be with a group to see them. Jenese and I sneaked into one building behind another group and came close to being locked inside.
I'll admit that, by that time, I was getting tired. But not from boredom! This was by far the most interesting (and weirdest) first date I'd ever been on, and I didn't want it to end.
After leaving the mansion, we went downtown to see Centennial Park and City Hall before returning to the parking lot at Standing Bear Park. There, we sat at a picnic table under a shade tree and watched a man and his young son fishing at the pond. I started making moves to call it a day and leave, when Jenese suggested we go somewhere for dinner. This attempt to prolong our date gave me some needed encouragement. I didn’t like the idea of making her drive after dark, but I agreed.
Encouragement? I smiled, took off my sunglasses, dandled my hands close to his, and even brushed a few drops of water off his face. I guess I could've climbed into his lap, but it was a first date, after all. Before dinner, we took a quick trip downtown to view some of the historic buildings.
We found a local diner that looked popular. It’s the kind of place that has advertisements for local businesses under the plexiglass tabletops and greasy menus. I ordered the fried catfish, which was very good, and I think Jenese had the grilled chicken, which was one of the few non-fried items on the menu. It was a pleasant meal and our most relaxed conversation, so it definitely improved the overall date.
I finally found the courage to return his gaze during that conversation. It was hard to believe I had spent an entire day with someone I'd never met before. I hoped we could spend another day together -- and soon.
We returned to Standing Bear Park to say our goodbyes. I thought a kiss could be in the offering, but I convinced myself that propriety allowed for only a hug from this girl I had met in person for the first time mere hours earlier. I left her with a lemon cucumber from my garden as a birthday present, just in case she hadn’t yet gauged my weirdness. She left me with hope for a second date.
Next, we went to the Marland Mansion, E. W. Marland’s second Ponca City home, built on the edge of town. I had been there once before and was sure Jenese would enjoy it. We timed it so that we could join one of the daily tours. Our guide, who had a talent for pointing out the obvious, was more frazzled than usual because of the large size of our group. It continued to swell as the tour progressed until we had at least thirty people trying to crowd into each bathroom we were shown. I think she ended the tour early, because I saw other tour guides escorting their groups through outbuildings we never got to see. These buildings are kept locked, so you must be with a group to see them. Jenese and I sneaked into one building behind another group and came close to being locked inside.
I'll admit that, by that time, I was getting tired. But not from boredom! This was by far the most interesting (and weirdest) first date I'd ever been on, and I didn't want it to end.
After leaving the mansion, we went downtown to see Centennial Park and City Hall before returning to the parking lot at Standing Bear Park. There, we sat at a picnic table under a shade tree and watched a man and his young son fishing at the pond. I started making moves to call it a day and leave, when Jenese suggested we go somewhere for dinner. This attempt to prolong our date gave me some needed encouragement. I didn’t like the idea of making her drive after dark, but I agreed.
Encouragement? I smiled, took off my sunglasses, dandled my hands close to his, and even brushed a few drops of water off his face. I guess I could've climbed into his lap, but it was a first date, after all. Before dinner, we took a quick trip downtown to view some of the historic buildings.
We found a local diner that looked popular. It’s the kind of place that has advertisements for local businesses under the plexiglass tabletops and greasy menus. I ordered the fried catfish, which was very good, and I think Jenese had the grilled chicken, which was one of the few non-fried items on the menu. It was a pleasant meal and our most relaxed conversation, so it definitely improved the overall date.
I finally found the courage to return his gaze during that conversation. It was hard to believe I had spent an entire day with someone I'd never met before. I hoped we could spend another day together -- and soon.
We returned to Standing Bear Park to say our goodbyes. I thought a kiss could be in the offering, but I convinced myself that propriety allowed for only a hug from this girl I had met in person for the first time mere hours earlier. I left her with a lemon cucumber from my garden as a birthday present, just in case she hadn’t yet gauged my weirdness. She left me with hope for a second date.
I smiled all the way home. And enjoyed the cucumber.
The Courtship
With the purchase of a Pikepass, I began a long-distance relationship that would give me an education far superior to that which I received in my high school Oklahoma History class. Cue the appropriate montage music in your head as I give this brief summary, including museums, historic homes, hiking trails, and an excessive amount of precipitation.
The Courtship
With the purchase of a Pikepass, I began a long-distance relationship that would give me an education far superior to that which I received in my high school Oklahoma History class. Cue the appropriate montage music in your head as I give this brief summary, including museums, historic homes, hiking trails, and an excessive amount of precipitation.
I suggest 'Singing in the Rain.' Or, make the experience come alive by reading it in the shower. With proper precautions against electrocution, of course.
For our second date, the plan was for me to meet Jenese at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. This was made difficult by my road atlas, purchased at Big Lots, which depicts the museum as being located at the state fairgrounds. It is not at the state fairgrounds.
It took about 20 minutes to talk him back to the downtown area and into the museum.
We walked from the museum to the Myriad Botanical Gardens and from there to the American Banjo Museum in the rain. After an hour of listening to a banjo orchestra, we walked in the rain to a Greek restaurant, only to discover it is the Bada Bing of OKC inner-city gangs. So we RAN in the rain to a nearby Mexican restaurant. Date 2 ended with our first kiss in a downtown parking garage, both of us soaked and still hearing banjos.
Funny how one can forget both time and being completely drenched in just one kiss. He left two hours later than he should have.
Subsequent dates would take us to: the OU/University of Tulsa football game in Norman; hiking and rowing at Osage Hills State Park;hiking in the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge; Frank Phillips Home; Price Tower Arts Center; hiking at Lake Murray; OU/OSU bedlam game in Norman (thanks for the tickets, Bruce!); Flaming Lips New Year's Eve Freakout;
Ice skating in OKC;
Will Rogers Memorial Museum; Belvidere Mansion in Claremore; hiking in the rain at Elk River in Kansas; Bare Bones Film Festival; Muskogee Azalea Festival in the rain;
Historic covered bridge in Missouri in the rain; Bartlesville Sunfest; Oklahoma History Center; kayaking the Illinois River in the rain; and First Battle of Cabin Creek battle site.
Green Lantern and the fallen Confederate Soldiers
The Proposal
I never knew the precise moment when Jenese became my intended wife, but somewhere amidst the historic homes and hiking trails, the courtship became a redundancy. It was no longer a question of if I would marry Jenese, but when – as though the decision had been made before either of us had an email account.
I never knew the precise moment when Jenese became my intended wife, but somewhere amidst the historic homes and hiking trails, the courtship became a redundancy. It was no longer a question of if I would marry Jenese, but when – as though the decision had been made before either of us had an email account.
I knew I was in trouble when I read the travelogues. I knew my search was over after our first few dates. God had answered my prayer. I just had to wait for Rick to figure it out.
Now the question was how to propose. After eliminating hot air balloons and sports stadium jumbotrons, I settled upon a guitar serenade. After several failed attempts to mimic an Old 97s song, I concluded I would need professional help and much more time. I guessed that Jenese wanted a fiancé more than she wanted an American Idol audition, so I opted for plan B.
Now the question was how to propose. After eliminating hot air balloons and sports stadium jumbotrons, I settled upon a guitar serenade. After several failed attempts to mimic an Old 97s song, I concluded I would need professional help and much more time. I guessed that Jenese wanted a fiancé more than she wanted an American Idol audition, so I opted for plan B.
He let me listen to the song, after the fact. And I'm glad he chose plan B, because singing that song to me would have been so sweet, that I would've ended up sniveling, or some other ridiculously girly, emotional thing.
Laying the groundwork made for a fervid Friday in April. I was to meet Jenese in Chickasha that evening, and we planned on hiking the next day. Assuming there were no ominous storm clouds overhead, it would be a good opportunity to present a ring. So on my way out of town, I stopped at Windle’s Jewelryto pick out a ring. During an earlier visit, I was shown an assortment of diamonds, some of which cost more than my car. But Jenese assured me that she did not want an expensive ring that she would keep in a box, nor did she want to be limited to a honeymoon at Silver Dollar City in Branson. (Oh, I do love this girl.) After deciding this was not some sort of test, I selected a $3 novelty ring made of polished rock – the kind that does not sparkle and is not fought over by African child soldiers.
Laying the groundwork made for a fervid Friday in April. I was to meet Jenese in Chickasha that evening, and we planned on hiking the next day. Assuming there were no ominous storm clouds overhead, it would be a good opportunity to present a ring. So on my way out of town, I stopped at Windle’s Jewelryto pick out a ring. During an earlier visit, I was shown an assortment of diamonds, some of which cost more than my car. But Jenese assured me that she did not want an expensive ring that she would keep in a box, nor did she want to be limited to a honeymoon at Silver Dollar City in Branson. (Oh, I do love this girl.) After deciding this was not some sort of test, I selected a $3 novelty ring made of polished rock – the kind that does not sparkle and is not fought over by African child soldiers.
And here's how he started the ring discussion. It was a Sunday night. I was tired and had turned in early. Sometime around 10 p.m., a text awoke me. 'Free to talk?' Sure, whatever. Rick called, engaged me in small talk until he was sure most of my synapses were firing again, and then issued the following prepared statement: 'I want to present for your consideration 'Hypothetical Option A' and Hypothetical Option B.' Okay. 'Hypothetical Option A is, you get a ring, a ring so spectacular that it causes passing jets to fall from the sky, but a honeymoon that only gets you as far as Branson. Or, with Hypothetical Option B, you get a ring that's not so spectacular, but a honeymoon in Athens or something like that.' I (joyfully) countered with Hypothetical Option C, described above. And then he had the nerve to ask whether I thought I could go back to sleep. Jerk.
The next stop was a title company office in Owasso. After a year of trying to sell my house in Owasso, this had to be the day selected for closing. I met my Realtor, who happens to be my mom, at the title company. After signing all of the closing papers, the buyer and I were left alone for a crazy length of time while the closing agent cut the check. It was past time for me to head for my next stop, so I left my mom there to wait for the check.
I drove to the Farm Shopping Center in Tulsa, where I was scheduled to meet Nathan Dahm, congressional candidate for the 1st district. A mutual political friend put him in touch with me, and he had somehow gotten the impression that I’m the political king-maker for Bartlesville, so he just had to meet me in person. Mazzios was the place. What better time?
The next stop was a title company office in Owasso. After a year of trying to sell my house in Owasso, this had to be the day selected for closing. I met my Realtor, who happens to be my mom, at the title company. After signing all of the closing papers, the buyer and I were left alone for a crazy length of time while the closing agent cut the check. It was past time for me to head for my next stop, so I left my mom there to wait for the check.
I drove to the Farm Shopping Center in Tulsa, where I was scheduled to meet Nathan Dahm, congressional candidate for the 1st district. A mutual political friend put him in touch with me, and he had somehow gotten the impression that I’m the political king-maker for Bartlesville, so he just had to meet me in person. Mazzios was the place. What better time?
You know, my evening was pretty nondescript. I think I might've run the vacuum cleaner.
For over an hour, I tried to stay interested as Nathan talked about John Sullivan’s congressional voting record (he voted for the bailout and TARP), but my mind was definitely on my next stop, which was Jenese’s parents’ house in Shawnee. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Nathan who was causing me to show pit stains. Further evidence of my nervousness came when I said goodbye to Nathan in the parking lot. I reached for my keys and found an empty pocket. I returned to the booth and looked, but there were no keys. I went back to my car and then realized that IT WAS STILL RUNNING. I had left the keys in the ignition with the door unlocked for over an hour. That’s a first for me.
That will still be funny when we're racing our wheelchairs through the retirement villa.
From a gas station (where did all of my gas go?), I called Jenese’s father and, without my voice breaking, managed to ask whether I could stop by. An hour and forty-five minutes later, I was sitting on Jenese’s parents’ couch, telling them I wanted to marry their daughter. They were gracious and encouraging, and it took them only a half-hour to itemize all of Jenese’s hidden flaws, making certain there was full disclosure and that I knew what I was doing.
I wish to see this disclosure.
I arrived at Jenese’s carrying a bouquet of flowers, but very late. I was thankful I had Nathan as an excuse, so Jenese would not know that I had detoured through Shawnee and had a ring destined for her finger.
I arrived at Jenese’s carrying a bouquet of flowers, but very late. I was thankful I had Nathan as an excuse, so Jenese would not know that I had detoured through Shawnee and had a ring destined for her finger.
He called me twice from the road, to tell me he was running late. As soon as I saw the tulips, I quipped, 'Are those to make up for giving a politician precedence over me?' 'Yes.'
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The next day, as planned, we went hiking at the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge under beautiful blue skies. We selected the Charon’s Garden trail, which is a 2.4 mile trail that would take us through the Valley of Boulders and past Post Oak Falls, the highest waterfall in the refuge. We planned on hiking to the end of the trail and back again for a total hiking distance of 4.8 miles. This would be one of the few times I didn’t mind backtracking, since it would allow me to scout out the entire length of the trail for the perfect proposal spot, carefully studying every vista and bubbling brook. But there would be snag in my plan and its name was Jeremy.
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The next day, as planned, we went hiking at the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge under beautiful blue skies. We selected the Charon’s Garden trail, which is a 2.4 mile trail that would take us through the Valley of Boulders and past Post Oak Falls, the highest waterfall in the refuge. We planned on hiking to the end of the trail and back again for a total hiking distance of 4.8 miles. This would be one of the few times I didn’t mind backtracking, since it would allow me to scout out the entire length of the trail for the perfect proposal spot, carefully studying every vista and bubbling brook. But there would be snag in my plan and its name was Jeremy.
It truly is a beautiful trail, and we met lots of other hikers enjoying the day -- all potential snags. Jeremy's just the only one we have a name for.
The terminus of the trail was a small parking area just beyond Post Oak Lake. As we were walking off the asphalt to return to the trail, one of the parked cars caught my eye and I stopped to look at it. This is odd, since I’m not a car guy and so rarely stop to stare at a car unless it is on fire. But this black Honda Civic with a sunroof had a sleek look that made me to want to check out the interior. My interest drew Jenese’s gaze, and then she exclaimed, 'I think this is Jeremy’s car!'
This was bizarre. Jeremy is one of Jenese’s closest friends. He lives outside of Norman, far from the refuge, and Jenese had no reason to believe he was going to be there. Of the dozen trails inside the refuge, why did he pick that one?
The terminus of the trail was a small parking area just beyond Post Oak Lake. As we were walking off the asphalt to return to the trail, one of the parked cars caught my eye and I stopped to look at it. This is odd, since I’m not a car guy and so rarely stop to stare at a car unless it is on fire. But this black Honda Civic with a sunroof had a sleek look that made me to want to check out the interior. My interest drew Jenese’s gaze, and then she exclaimed, 'I think this is Jeremy’s car!'
This was bizarre. Jeremy is one of Jenese’s closest friends. He lives outside of Norman, far from the refuge, and Jenese had no reason to believe he was going to be there. Of the dozen trails inside the refuge, why did he pick that one?
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It was strange, but not entirely surprising, since the refuge is one of Jer's favorite haunts.
Anyway, Jenese was now on the lookout for Jeremy. Sure enough, a few minutes later, while we were eating dried figs on a rise above the lake, we spotted him on his way back to his awesome car. He was with his sister and a couple of friends. Seeing them at this time and place was incongruous, like seeing jet trails in the sky of a Western movie, but I thought they’d soon be moving on and my plan would get back on track.
Anyway, Jenese was now on the lookout for Jeremy. Sure enough, a few minutes later, while we were eating dried figs on a rise above the lake, we spotted him on his way back to his awesome car. He was with his sister and a couple of friends. Seeing them at this time and place was incongruous, like seeing jet trails in the sky of a Western movie, but I thought they’d soon be moving on and my plan would get back on track.
He thought so hard that Jamie, Jer's sister, later told me she could sense that it was time for them to leave. My own inimitable charm, however, shields me from Rick's infamous get-away power, so I didn't notice that he was willing them back to their car.
Ah, but then Jeremy offered to drive us back to our car. How could he be so inconsiderate?! What was he thinking?! Now I started to panic. 'Nah, we can’t all fit in your car,' I offered. But Jeremy said that wasn’t a problem because they had two cars. (Why does Jeremy hate me?) Thankfully, Jenese still had plenty of stamina and indicated she was fine with hiking back to the car. So it was settled. We thanked Jeremy and the happy interlopers, and they went on their way.
Ah, but then Jeremy offered to drive us back to our car. How could he be so inconsiderate?! What was he thinking?! Now I started to panic. 'Nah, we can’t all fit in your car,' I offered. But Jeremy said that wasn’t a problem because they had two cars. (Why does Jeremy hate me?) Thankfully, Jenese still had plenty of stamina and indicated she was fine with hiking back to the car. So it was settled. We thanked Jeremy and the happy interlopers, and they went on their way.
'That was really weird,' I giggled to Rick, amused by the odd coincidence. 'Yeah,' he muttered.
Jenese and I wanted to see some different ground, so we switched to a parallel trail running on the other side of the stream that fed the lake. We had hiked less than a quarter of a mile when we decided to leave the trail and head straight up the side of a mountain to get a better view. I knew this was my chance. I kept pushing Jenese higher and higher until we were near the peak. The view was spectacular. From the direction we came, we could see the lake and beyond for many miles - all blue skies. But the wind was really fierce. You couldn’t maintain a stance without being nudged off balance.
Jenese and I wanted to see some different ground, so we switched to a parallel trail running on the other side of the stream that fed the lake. We had hiked less than a quarter of a mile when we decided to leave the trail and head straight up the side of a mountain to get a better view. I knew this was my chance. I kept pushing Jenese higher and higher until we were near the peak. The view was spectacular. From the direction we came, we could see the lake and beyond for many miles - all blue skies. But the wind was really fierce. You couldn’t maintain a stance without being nudged off balance.
I'd had a funny feeling about this weekend, after our ring conversation, but I shoved it aside, trying to focus on our gorgeous surroundings. And then . . .
After way too much stalling, I guided us over to a large outcropping that could serve as a partial windbreak, but without impeding our view. It was there that I went down on one knee and presented the $3 ring. With a trembling hand, Jenese accepted the ring and we were engaged on a mountaintop.
After way too much stalling, I guided us over to a large outcropping that could serve as a partial windbreak, but without impeding our view. It was there that I went down on one knee and presented the $3 ring. With a trembling hand, Jenese accepted the ring and we were engaged on a mountaintop.
He held me for so long, so silently, that my suspicion became certainty. 'Oh, I remember what I was going to ask you,' he said, taking my hand. 'Will you please end 40 years of loneliness by accepting this three-dollar ring and agreeing to become my wife?' It was hard to speak, but easy to answer. 'With all my heart!'
Engaged for Ten Minutes
This should be the happy ending to Our Story, but there was still the matter of getting down from the mountain and back to the car. The first part was not difficult. We descended the mountain in high spirits and managed to find our trail. This is an important point in the story because it means that what happened next HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DETOUR UP THE MOUNTAIN.
Let me reiterate: Left the trail, climbed the peak, RETURNED TO THE TRAIL.
We got lost – really, really lost. I should explain that because the trail is in a wilderness area, no signs or trail markers are permitted. This does
We got lost – really, really lost. I should explain that because the trail is in a wilderness area, no signs or trail markers are permitted. This does
not create a problem so long as you are in a grassy field or in the woods where a worn footpath can be followed, but when you are crawling up and over large boulders on all fours like a spider monkey, there is no trail to track. You have to estimate where the trail starts up again on the other side of the boulder field. Our estimate turned out to be a bad one.
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We made it all the way back to the waterfall, but it was the last recognizable landmark we saw.
We still knew which direction we needed to be going, but there was a mountain ridge in the way. We had to make our way to the top without a trail. At places, it would become too steep or too thick with brush to continue, forcing us to alter our course. Each time, we seemed to be forced to our right, taking us farther from where I thought was the location of the trail.
We still knew which direction we needed to be going, but there was a mountain ridge in the way. We had to make our way to the top without a trail. At places, it would become too steep or too thick with brush to continue, forcing us to alter our course. Each time, we seemed to be forced to our right, taking us farther from where I thought was the location of the trail.
We kept hoping that, once on top, we'd see the trail or something that would put us in the right direction. But we found nothing, no clues to help us.
Jenese’s pace slowed, and she spoke less and less. I didn’t know whether she was mad, worried, or just exhausted. The more haggard she looked, the worse I felt for losing control of what should have been a perfect day. Just as I was wondering, 'What’s going to happen next?', Jenese grabbed a cactus, embedding needles in her flesh too fine to dig out.
Jenese’s pace slowed, and she spoke less and less. I didn’t know whether she was mad, worried, or just exhausted. The more haggard she looked, the worse I felt for losing control of what should have been a perfect day. Just as I was wondering, 'What’s going to happen next?', Jenese grabbed a cactus, embedding needles in her flesh too fine to dig out.
The brush in the Wichitas is a bit treacherous -- small cacti hide in the taller grasses. I had put out my hand to steady myself, and didn't see the cactus in time. I felt badly for Rick, and was trying not to show how utterly tired I was, but to no avail. Just as he left on another attempt to scout out the terrain, he smiled sadly and said, 'You can reconsider your answer at any time.'
It was now early evening, we were running low on water, and I was seriously starting to worry that we’d still be out there after dark. Why didn’t I get her a real engagement ring? Now, when they find our bodies, they’ll disregard the novelty ring, and no one will ever know I was engaged.
It was now early evening, we were running low on water, and I was seriously starting to worry that we’d still be out there after dark. Why didn’t I get her a real engagement ring? Now, when they find our bodies, they’ll disregard the novelty ring, and no one will ever know I was engaged.
Suddenly, I realized I should have been praying all along. I was certainly no good for anything else at that point, so while Rick continued scouting (giving me a chance to rest), I sought the Lord's intervention. We could see the road, but could we get to it?
As we approached each mountain peak, I would scramble to the top, hoping to be able to spot the trail, while Jenese waited for me. I never found the trail, and I soon became exhausted. When I caught sight of a stream down below where Jenese was waiting, I decided we would head for it and then follow it. It appeared to be heading in the direction of the road, and at the very least, it would get us out of the mountains and onto level ground.
As we approached each mountain peak, I would scramble to the top, hoping to be able to spot the trail, while Jenese waited for me. I never found the trail, and I soon became exhausted. When I caught sight of a stream down below where Jenese was waiting, I decided we would head for it and then follow it. It appeared to be heading in the direction of the road, and at the very least, it would get us out of the mountains and onto level ground.
The going was much easier by the creek. At least there was no climbing! Just being off the mountain lifted our spirits, and we were able to push on.
Pressing through the thick undergrowth was extremely difficult, but we eventually found the stream and started following it. We soon found a trail, but thought it must be an animal trail. A little further and I was excited to spot a boot print. Then the trail left the stream and angled across a grassy field. As we approached a tree line, we heard voices. We continued on the trail until, to our great relief, we came upon a troop of Boy Scouts cooking dinner at a campsite.
Pressing through the thick undergrowth was extremely difficult, but we eventually found the stream and started following it. We soon found a trail, but thought it must be an animal trail. A little further and I was excited to spot a boot print. Then the trail left the stream and angled across a grassy field. As we approached a tree line, we heard voices. We continued on the trail until, to our great relief, we came upon a troop of Boy Scouts cooking dinner at a campsite.
Adolescents never looked so wonderful.
Drained of all of my pride, I had no problem with going straight to the troop leader and confessing that we were terribly lost. Like a good Scout, he offered to drive us back to our car. His wife came along for the ride. Along the way, Jenese told them about the proposal, so they were the first to hear the news.
Drained of all of my pride, I had no problem with going straight to the troop leader and confessing that we were terribly lost. Like a good Scout, he offered to drive us back to our car. His wife came along for the ride. Along the way, Jenese told them about the proposal, so they were the first to hear the news.
They also took our map and showed us just how far off the trail we'd gone. In all, what should have been a three- or four-hour hike lasted over seven.
Jenese’s car was a welcome sight. We drank lots of water, and I presented Jenese with her engagement bison. She accepted it, so any disillusionment from the past few hours must have been forgotten. (If you don’t know what an engagement bison is, you’ll have to ask Jenese.)
Jenese’s car was a welcome sight. We drank lots of water, and I presented Jenese with her engagement bison. She accepted it, so any disillusionment from the past few hours must have been forgotten. (If you don’t know what an engagement bison is, you’ll have to ask Jenese.)
We gave thanks to God and reveled in the sensation of sitting on cushions and of NOT MOVING. Incidentally, the bison's name is Felix. He was Plan A, while the novelty ring was Plan B. Rick likes Plans and Options.
We left the refuge behind and started planning our life together.
We left the refuge behind and started planning our life together.
Together. A beautiful, hopeful, exciting word.
(PLEASE NOTE: We do not have a registry and are not asking for gifts, so keep your gift-wrapped compasses and jokes to yourself, thank you very much.)
(PLEASE NOTE: We do not have a registry and are not asking for gifts, so keep your gift-wrapped compasses and jokes to yourself, thank you very much.)
