Dating Over 50
Coaching women over 50 about dating, I’m often asked this question…
Why has dating become so damn hard?
One pleasant surprise about dating after 50 is less groveling for sex. After a few dates, most older women feel fine about going horizontal, and don't care if your erections are iffy or gone. However, they don't want sexually transmitted infections (STIs). So use condoms until you're monogamous. Dating isn't mating. Just as gold miners move tons of rock to find a few nuggets, you'll probably have to date dozens of women before you find Ms. The title should be “Why Dating (period) over 50 doesn’t work”. I’ve been divorced since I was in my early 40’s. I’m on my 3rd relationship since my divorce and the problem is it’s just almost impossible to acclimate to dating again late in life, and especially after being married for awhile. The exciting part of dating again after age 50 is that the relationship can take any shape you want. There’s more communication, more honesty, and fewer assumptions about what “dating” means or where it’s going. Nevertheless, you still may need help navigating the dating and relationship world. Check out useful tips on writing an awesome. DATING FOR SENIORS. Are you lonely and single over 50 and just need someone to give you love and warmth? We understand that when children grow up and move away, when you are retired and live alone, life can be boring. If you'd like to date again and find someone to enjoy the rest of life together, DatingOver50 is the perfect dating site for you.
Dating after 50 can be intimidating, especially after a divorce. Find out what to expect, how to start dating again & join our community of like-minded women.
I believe it’s because dating has become an activity we endure, versus one we enjoy.
We treat dating like we treat a job interview. We exchange resumes.
We look the person up and down and in less than 10 minutes – the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee – we decide whether or not this person is our next spouse or committed partner.
What a pressure cooker this is…ultimately leaving us with the feeling there is no one out there to date.
Yet there are millions of men and women looking for partners daily, so what’s going on? Why can’t men and women find each other? It’s simple.
They are dating to mate, rather than dating to date.
I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve heard, “I just know whether he’s ‘the one’ within the first 3 minutes of meeting him.”
There is no way this is possible.
You may know whether you’re initially attracted to him but that’s it. And by the way, for women, attraction can grow over time when you get to really know a man, even when it’s initially not present on a first date.
Using this 3-minute philosophy, you can end up missing a lot of good, quality men.
Dating can be a lot of fun if you can switch to the idea of dating to date. This means go on dates with the only objective being having fun getting to know a new and interesting man.
We did this as kids when we hung out with our potential boyfriends. We didn’t sit around thinking, Is he the one? We just enjoyed each other’s company and let it flow into the relationships we created.
When you date to date, you may not secure a mate right away… of course, that’s not happening for you as you date to mate either… but you could end up with male friends who offer you companionship when you want it. And over time, you may fall for a man who has become your friend because the foundation for any solid relationship is friendship.
It could end up being the best relationship and one you would have missed by making that quick, 3-minute decision on your first date.
The other reason dating can make you so miserable is because often you don’t give men a chance unless they meet your standards of perfection. That’s why they aren’t measuring up to in those first 3 minutes.
I’ve heard so many women describe their ideal man as one who is fit, one who eats a certain way, and one who has a particular job. A fit man may look good but it doesn’t mean he’ll make a good mate for you.
The guy with the belly could stand to lose a couple of pounds, and yet he might be the guy who could light up your life every day and make you very happy if you give him a chance.
Instead of just using physical characteristics as the sole basis for finding someone, think about how you want to feel around a man.
Because ultimately, you want to feel happy inside when you’re with the one you finally choose. And that has nothing to do with how he exercises or eats. It has to do with how he treats you.
Tell us in the comments how you want to be treated…
Hugs~
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If you’re a man who is over 50 and attempting to date women, you might not realize the distinct advantages that you possess over younger guys.
A man of your age has had a lot of life experience and you really should be using that to feel confident in what you’ve got to offer women. Unlike a younger man who is still trying to work out who he is and what he should be doing with his life, you’ve likely past those stages and have become your true self as a man.
So, from here, you need to have confidence in the overall value that a woman will gain (emotionally, mentally, financially, etc) by being with man like you. However, don’t try to pitch it that way to women.
Women don’t like it when a man tries to sell himself to her by listing off all of his great or beneficial qualities. Instead, what you need to do is trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you.
When you’ve triggered a woman’s feelings of sexual attraction, she then starts to look at everything else about you in a more positive light. Here’s how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, it’s possible for you to attract women who are a lot younger than you.
Most women (not all) are open to feeling attracted to different types of guys and if you can make a woman feel what she’s hoping to feel with a guy, she will be much more open to dating and getting into a relationship with a man of your age.
Getting Past Your Age
I think it’s fair to say that most people still consider dating to be something that “young” people do.
Despite the changes in our society, there still seems to be an unwritten law that once you’re passed a certain age you’re too “old” for dating. Yet, if you’ve reached that certain age and you’re a single man looking for love, the fact is that you’re going to find it in the same way that guys in their 20s and 30s do – and that’s dating.
Dating after 50 is no different to dating at any other age, because the principles of it remain the same.
After all, the whole idea of dating is to get to know the woman you’re attracted to and to figure out whether she is someone that you’re interested in being in a relationship with. However, with that said, the most common mistake that guys over 50 make when trying to woo a woman, is that they forget the all important element of sexual attraction.
Getting Back in to the Dating Scene
It’s understandable that many men in their 50s, who find themselves returning to the dating scene after decades of being in a relationship, start off feeling a bit insecure and unsure of themselves. If this is you, I can help you.
Insecurity and lack of confidence in your attractiveness and value to women at any age is a barrier to success with women, but the good news is that any man can overcome that at any stage in their life and irrespective of age. All a guy needs is a willingness to learn.
“But, I Don’t Have My Youthful Looks…”
Something a lot of guys in their 50s say to me is, “Dan, how am I supposed to attract a new woman into my life now that I’ve no longer got my youthful appearance? Surely, most women aren’t going to be interested in an old fella like me.”
What such men don’t realise is that I also get comments from guys half their age saying, “How am I going to attract a woman without movie star good looks?
Isn’t it all about being tall, dark and handsome?” I answer everyone in the same way – a man’s looks have very little to do with how attractive he is.
The notion that “attractiveness” is the way you look, the way you style your hair, the clothes you wear or even the car you drive is nonsense, but it’s the nonsense that is shoved in our faces day in and day out through TV, magazine and billboard advertising campaigns.
They want you to think that way because it makes you buy their cars, deodorants, colognes and expensive clothing.
Dating In Your 50
You know the sort of thing I mean – wear a certain brand of deodorant and you’ll be irresistible to women, wear a certain brand of watch and you’ll become a distinguished gentleman in a woman’s eyes, wear a certain designer label and you’ll have soccer star status, etc.
Yet, when you go and buy those things, women still aren’t going to be interested unless you have the confidence and belief in yourself as a man to back it up.
A watch isn’t going to get you laid and a hairstyle isn’t going to make women say, “Wow, now THAT is what I’ve been looking for! The way you’ve styled your hair is perfect! Let’s have sex!”
In the real world (not the TV commercial world), women are attracted to confident men; they don’t buy into the false world of advertising “attractiveness,” so why should you? The sooner you let go of the idea that your not-so-good-looks are holding you back, the sooner you can get on with discovering what women really find attractive in a man.
Focussing on what you don’t have gets you nowhere, but focussing on what you do have gets you moving towards having whatever you want. Women love a man who believes in himself because he decides to believe in himself for deeper reasons.
Having temporary confidence over a new shirt you’ve just bought at a designer shop isn’t going to last very long at all. In fact, if you’re going around basing your confidence on superficial things like that, women will see right through it.
Some will even challenge you on the spot by playing hard to get, making it difficult for you to keep the conversation going and so on, so they can check to see how confident you really are. When they see that it’s just a front, boom – it’s over.
You Deserve to Be Confident After 50
Dating Over 50 Tips
At this point in your life, you’ve no doubt experienced a lot and have done many good or even great things in your life.
You’re also probably not to bad in the bedroom either.
Those and countless other things should be your reason for feeling confident.
Allow yourself to have that confidence, because when you do, women will love you for it. Dating after 50 is easy for guys who believe in themselves and know that their experience with manhood and their ability to “be the man” is like a drug to women of all ages.
If you don’t have a lot of confidence or are lacking in the masculinity department (mental and emotional masculinity), let me help you out. I’ve heard back from 100s of men over 50 who are now sleeping with women in their 20s and 30s, as well as men who’ve found a beautiful new women to share the rest of their life with.
Don’t Believe the Lies from TV Advertising Campaigns
There’s nothing that advertising campaigns like to do more than appeal to a man’s insecurities surrounding his age.
Think about it; they show the “sad” grey-haired man and then the “happy” man with newly dyed youthful-looking hair. He dyes his hair and then he gets the girl. Yet, in the real world, the many women I’ve spoken to about men dying their hair have said the same sorts of things, “It looks silly. You can tell that the guy is insecure and is trying to be something he’s not.”
As I’ve already said in this article, all women love men who believe in themselves for deeper reasons. Being a girl and dying to hair to “look young” is not cool and it’s not attractive. If anything, it actually makes you look like a guy who secretly isn’t into girls, if you catch my drift.
Hopefully you’re one of the smarter men who isn’t being tricked into thinking that women want you to look radiant and youthful. Hopefully you realize that men actually become more attractive to women as they age, as long as (and I repeat, as long as) the guy retains and builds on his confidence, continues to push forward in life and beyond what he has already achieved.
If you’re wanting to get a date after 50, but you’re lacking confidence and going nowhere in life, don’t expect women of any age to be lining up to be with you.
Most women, whether they’re 25 or 55, are instinctively attracted to the same characteristics in a man. What women really want is to be with a man who knows how to make them feel like a woman and who is able to consistently “be the man” around her and in life, and that’s it.
Yes, some women are picky about looks, but many women are more flexible with what they will find attractive in a guy than most men realize.
So get over that imaginary hurdle and stop thinking that a wrinkle cream or hair die will get you a hot lady. Stop thinking that all you need to do is spend all of your money on a sports car and THEN you’ll get the girl. Just believe in yourself, be a man and make women feel like women.
As you will discover from the video above, the real reason why a lot of good men fail with women is that they simply don’t know how to attract women.
When you interact with a woman, she is only going to look at you as a potential lover, boyfriend or husband if you can make her feel sexually attracted to you.
The more sexual attraction you are able to make women feel by way of your personality, confidence, vibe, body language, behavior and attitude, the more options you will have with women. It’s as simple as that.
“But, I’ve Got Baggage…”
Of course you do; you’re 50!
It’s no surprise that a man in his 50s might be carrying a little more “baggage” with him than a man in his 20s. It’s totally normal, expected and nothing to worry about at all.
For instance: Maybe he’s got kids, maybe he’s got six dogs, three cats and a goldfish, but is any of that an issue? It will be an issue only if he chooses to see it in a negative way.
Sure, you might have different sets of responsibilities by the time you reach your 50s compared to a guy in his 20s, but you don’t need to consider it “baggage,” it’s simply part of who you are.
There’s nothing wrong with you having a past with other women, or having a dog that you love or having your children come and stay with you on weekends. Women are attracted to men who know who they are; men who have established their own set of values in life and men who have the strength of character to stand by those values and always be true to themselves.
Knowing who you are and knowing what you want from life makes you an attractive man at any age. To get over this particular hurdle regarding dating after 50, all that you need to do is realise that most women (not all) are interested in “who” you are, not “what” you are.
“But, I’m Set in My Ways…”
If you want help and advice about dating after 50 because you’ve realized that the world has changed since you were last on the dating scene, you need to be prepared to learn from current experts in the field.
Trying to use advice that was applicable 40 years ago is only going to cause you trouble because, believe me, things really have changed. To master the modern dating scene, you need to be open to learning and that means being open to change. If you’re too set in your ways and you’re not open to change, things are going to stay exactly as they are.
Don’t make the mistake of getting locked into thoughts of, “Well I am what I am, so it’s too late to change anything now.” Success with women is all about taking steps to become the best version of yourself it’s possible to be, so you can attract a quality woman and keep that woman (if you want to!).
Don’t settle for second best or worse – nothing at all. You deserve to be happy and have a beautiful woman to share your life with, or if you prefer, many beautiful women to share your bed with.
If you’re dating after 50 and are looking for advice, then let me help you. I’ll show you the way to quickly having your choice of beautiful women…and you don’t need to change a thing about your physical appearance to make that happen.
Ready to begin?
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